Dating someone not sxe?

[damonkey999]

Hi, I have this problem, which has also been an issue in the past.
It usually occurs like so:
I meet a girl
Become friends with her
Start to like her
And right when I'm about to ask her out
or a little after i do, with a yes for an answer
i find out she not sxe

It might seem weird, but here's the main issue behind it:

The fact that she not sxe, which is usually being that she drinks,
turns my stomach upside down.
It's not a thing where I'm worrying that people would judge me
It's me not being able to handle that one detail about her.
And I would talk to her about it, but I don't want to make someone
change themselves for me, cause that'll be selfish.

Whenever this problem occurs, I find my self just wishing I could change her
Or turn back time and stop her from ever starting
or something
Wishing she was against those poisons as much as me.

So my questions are,

What should I do?
Is it wrong to try and fight the negative emotion against her?
Does anybody else on here ever run across this?
I'm I just being to strict about my morals?
or is this just another "she's not the right one, the perfect girl will come when the time is right" thing?

[Lifestyle_X]

look, if that is a problem for you brotha, don't get into a relation with such girls, even if they are nice 'n stuff... you need to find the girl that you'll love forever like in the stories and movies :p and if you want to love her forever, you need to like her completely...

my 2 exes both weren't straight edge, but i didn't have a problem with that, it's my edge not theirs... but i told 'em that i find it wrong to do all those things, and they thought so too, me second ex never drunk anything, but she didn't call herself sXe.
i just fucking hated it when her mom made desert and dinner with fucking alcohol, she has 3 kids.. 10, 11, and 15 and she makes lots of dinner with alcohol, that's just plain wrong imo
but ok that relation is over, screw 'em all ...

[damonkey999]

yea, i know what you mean
it's tough cuz everything about her makes me happy
it's that one thing

i guess i'm just too strict on myself
maybe i should try to be more like you man
let the my edge be my edge and not force it to be someone else's

[xsecx]

yea, i know what you mean
it's tough cuz everything about her makes me happy
it's that one thing

i guess i'm just too strict on myself
maybe i should try to be more like you man
let the my edge be my edge and not force it to be someone else's

it all comes down to whether or not you can be comfortable around your partner drunk or high. If you can great. If not, that's ok too.
I never was, so I found someone whose morality matched up with mine rather than changing mine or hers.

[Xedge mofoX]

yeah man, don't concentrate on changing yours or anyone else's views...you can suggest things and try to open their minds a little bit, but don't force anything...

and if you don't agree with the things your love interest is into, then that's not necessarily a healthy relationship...you'll end up resenting that person...

i found it easier to get along with someone with the same views and outlooks on life that i had...

it may be hard, but good things come to those who wait

[swallow]

I might be boring but my bf isn't edge and I'm happy with that.

Like someone above already said, it's my edge, not his. He is just fine with me not drinking or smoking, he himself drinks sometimes but it is okay for me.

[mouseman004]

I might be boring but my bf isn't edge and I'm happy with that.

Like someone above already said, it's my edge, not his. He is just fine with me not drinking or smoking, he himself drinks sometimes but it is okay for me.

What do you mean your BF isn't edge? Dean is totally Edge!

[rodrigo]

never had a straight edge girlfriend or even drug free and it has never been a problem, but none of them smoked or did anything else than drink. i wouldnt date a girl who smokes.

[mouseman004]

never had a straight edge girlfriend or even drug free and it has never been a problem, but none of them smoked or did anything else than drink. i wouldnt date a girl who smokes.

Yeah I am the same way. I can deal with dating a girl who drinks, but smoking isnt really something I am okay with.

[CarlaRant]

I think that if you can connect on an emotional, spiritual, and later a physical level, then a relationship will work. What I don't understand about your post, is if you two have become friends, why didn't the sxe issue come up before you started going out or developed a crush? If it's so important to you, it should be something that comes up in the first couple of conversations.

On the other hand, if you think you can deal with someone occassionally drinking or getting high, etc, then I say go for it.

You never know down the line either-my husband was drug free when I met him and after being married for 2 years, decided he wanted to be free to have the occasional drink. It was strange at first, but eventually I got used to him having a beer or drink at a party. As stated earlier, it's your edge, not your partner's that's your responsibility.

[D1988]

What do you mean your BF isn't edge? Dean is totally Edge!

I am the Edgest of the Edge.

[swallow]

What do you mean your BF isn't edge? Dean is totally Edge!

Oh, sorry, I meant my first husband. I'm still trying to build a loving filthy-whore-type-of-relationship with Dean.

[MizSeri]

I'm actually pretty worried because the guy that I'm really interested in is a chain smoker.. I don't honestly know how I would deal with that..

[swallow]

I'm actually pretty worried because the guy that I'm really interested in is a chain smoker.. I don't honestly know how I would deal with that..

Hmm, if the guy turns out loving you, the "I-won't-kiss-an-ashtray" seems to work.

[xGriffox]

hold out for a sober/edge girl or just one who can handle themselves and not be a drunken fool.


PS. Sober Vegan girlfriends are the best!

[MizSeri]

Hmm, if the guy turns out loving you, the "I-won't-kiss-an-ashtray" seems to work.

haha, that's a good one. I wonder if the fact that ciggarette smoke makes me sick would be enough of a guilt trip too XD

[Wicked Brown]

o.k. i'm gonna be straight forward with this i love sxe girls but let's face it
you're not gonna find one every were you know?

[SgtD]

o.k. i'm gonna be straight forward with this i love sxe girls but let's face it
you're not gonna find one every were you know?

i've only had one, we were together for two years, but in the end it didn't matter because she had other flaws, and i had to break up with her. the personality matters more in my eyes.

i personally would be ok with a girl who is an occasional drinker, but i'M sure as hell gonna avoid girls who smoke.