the difficulty

[sXe 4 lyf]

Hi,

I have this problem, well its not really but i still want opinions on it, I have only been edge for a few months and only recently have i told my friends about it, they are all supportive and stuff but they dont get it, which i dont mind, but there is this one guy and i like him as a friend and all but he is being a real jerk, he keeps telling me that being straight edge is the biggest load of shit he has ever heard and just being really degrading about it, and because i respect his opinion most of the time, to have him say that is really hurtful, i mean i know i dont need anyone to tell me its ok and they dont have to agree with what i am doing because i am going to do it with or without their approval.

The problem is I just dont particulary know what to say to him without sounding like the biggest bitch on the face of the earth, and i think if it keeps going this way i am not going to be able to talk to him anymore. its a pretty weak situation i know, there are worse things than this but i just dont really know how to make it stop getting worse and me thinking less and less of him.

[linsee]

Bottom line, this dude is not a friend or someone you should respect if he can't handle and respect your decision. You don't need people like that in your life. There's a difference between standing up for what you believe in and being a bitch. If he can't listen to what you have to say then he's not worth being friends with. You need to tell him that it really offends you how much shit he talks about it, and he doesn't have to like that you're straight edge, but if he's your friend he should respect you and not be so awful to you about it. I have many friends that aren't straight edge, and yes there's jokes here and there, but it's never harsh or mean.

[sXe 4 lyf]

Bottom line, this dude is not a friend or someone you should respect if he can't handle and respect your decision. You don't need people like that in your life. There's a difference between standing up for what you believe in and being a bitch. If he can't listen to what you have to say then he's not worth being friends with. You need to tell him that it really offends you how much shit he talks about it, and he doesn't have to like that you're straight edge, but if he's your friend he should respect you and not be so awful to you about it. I have many friends that aren't straight edge, and yes there's jokes here and there, but it's never harsh or mean.

yeah that is true, and this may sound stupid, but I know that if i say something the likelihood of him not getting offended and being a complete asshole is not good. I talk to him more than i talk to a lot of people, cause i have all this stuff and he knows about it. My real problem is that for the first time in a long long time i believe in something and i have found something that i can understand and that i know i wont get bored with because it means so much, but then he says something and i start doubting it, which is REALLY REALLY stupid, but i guess i just have too much faith in him.

[nataliefayeg]

I've had this problem with many friends and many people I thought I might become friends with. I've lost so many friends from it but it's definitely for the better. Those people are just closed minded and not accepting of their friends for who they are. It gets kind of old the way people assume a lot just from the fact that I tell them I'm straight edge. When I moved into my new place at the dorms a lot of people were afraid to include me because they thought I would preach to them or disrespect their choices so I was alone for a while. But then a few of them decided to let me in and see who I really was. Now they respect me because I respect them and I've found a few great friends. The best of friends are the ones willing to look past the label and what they've heard or seen and accept you for the individual you really are. If he can't accept you and has to be disrespectful all the time then I'd say toss him. You're supposed to have friends that support you and make you better not bring you down and make you change.

[sXe 4 lyf]

I've had this problem with many friends and many people I thought I might become friends with. I've lost so many friends from it but it's definitely for the better. Those people are just closed minded and not accepting of their friends for who they are. It gets kind of old the way people assume a lot just from the fact that I tell them I'm straight edge. When I moved into my new place at the dorms a lot of people were afraid to include me because they thought I would preach to them or disrespect their choices so I was alone for a while. But then a few of them decided to let me in and see who I really was. Now they respect me because I respect them and I've found a few great friends. The best of friends are the ones willing to look past the label and what they've heard or seen and accept you for the individual you really are. If he can't accept you and has to be disrespectful all the time then I'd say toss him. You're supposed to have friends that support you and make you better not bring you down and make you change.

yeah i guess that is true, and i am leaving in two months, but the problem for me is i have come to know him and to trust him and the fact that he is being like that will bother me even if i stop talking to him. Sounds stupid i know, but i am the queen of worrying about things way to much.

[nataliefayeg]

yeah i guess that is true, and i am leaving in two months, but the problem for me is i have come to know him and to trust him and the fact that he is being like that will bother me even if i stop talking to him. Sounds stupid i know, but i am the queen of worrying about things way to much.

Have you sat down with him and explained all this to him? That usually helps me.

[sXe 4 lyf]

Have you sat down with him and explained all this to him? That usually helps me.

yeah i have tried, guess not hard enough, his problem is is that he drinks and he loves it, he cant wait till the weekends when he can go drinking, he just doesnt get how i dont want to and how i wont ever want to drink or do any of that stuff, he just wont listen, its hard and all but i have other friends who may not get it and do support me so i guess in the end for him its either going to be stop being such a prick or stop talking to me, i really dont need his shit right now. Its all getting kind of old lol.

[nataliefayeg]

yeah i have tried, guess not hard enough, his problem is is that he drinks and he loves it, he cant wait till the weekends when he can go drinking, he just doesnt get how i dont want to and how i wont ever want to drink or do any of that stuff, he just wont listen, its hard and all but i have other friends who may not get it and do support me so i guess in the end for him its either going to be stop being such a prick or stop talking to me, i really dont need his shit right now. Its all getting kind of old lol.

Oh jeezz. I definitely know how that goes. They usually don't understand how you can have fun and enjoy life without drinking. Even though it's really not that hard to have fun without alcohol. He may know that what he is doing isn't good for him but he's too afraid to admit it or change so he's trying to make it seem like you're the one doing wrong. He's putting his problems with himself on you. Just an idea of what might be going on.

[sXe 4 lyf]

Oh jeezz. I definitely know how that goes. They usually don't understand how you can have fun and enjoy life without drinking. Even though it's really not that hard to have fun without alcohol. He may know that what he is doing isn't good for him but he's too afraid to admit it or change so he's trying to make it seem like you're the one doing wrong. He's putting his problems with himself on you. Just an idea of what might be going on.

yeah that sounds about right, as good as he is most of the time, I know what he is like even though he probably doesnt realise it, I think I know what he is doing, I just dont feel like being in it anymore, I dont think talking to him as much as I used to will work anymore. Its all up to him now, if there is a god, god help me lol.