RE-Claiming

[trevvegan]

I was edge for 4 years before I dropped the label. I started claiming when I was 17. I drank about two months ago after getting out of an intense 3 year relationship and a 1 year relationship. I claimed for the sake of the person I was in a relationship, and stayed that way until my last relationship ended.

Now I regret ever dropping the label and drinking. I value straight edge, and uphold the lifestyle to this day, but don't hold the label. I don't want be labeled a sell out, or someone who jumps on or off the bandwagon, but I also don't want to be drug free.

I think someone who is sincere in their decision and mistakes shouldn't be sought that way as it was an unstable time in my life. I have tons of hard times but never turned my eyes off edge until two months ago.

Thoughts on re-claiming? I know a lot of people will say that its a life-long choice, and I know this, but I claimed on the wrong intentions but strive to do it for the right ones now. Please keep the flames down, I already got a lot of it from my friends.

[straightXed]

I was edge for 4 years before I dropped the label. I started claiming when I was 17. I drank about two months ago after getting out of an intense 3 year relationship and a 1 year relationship. I claimed for the sake of the person I was in a relationship, and stayed that way until my last relationship ended.


This reads like you have come out both a 1 year and 3 year relationship, i'm assuming they werent side by side but i don't like to assume too much.

So splitting up drove you to drink? Was there something specific that made you choose to drink?

You say you were edge for the sake of the person you were with, i'm sure you agree thats not a good reason, is that the reason you turned to drink?


Now I regret ever dropping the label and drinking. I value straight edge, and uphold the lifestyle to this day, but don't hold the label. I don't want be labeled a sell out, or someone who jumps on or off the bandwagon, but I also don't want to be drug free.

Why don't you want to be drug free exactly? This puzzles me the most so i would really appreciate it if you could answer this.


I think someone who is sincere in their decision and mistakes shouldn't be sought that way as it was an unstable time in my life. I have tons of hard times but never turned my eyes off edge until two months ago.

So 2 months ago you were drinking and you drank for 2 months? Am i correct in saying that you have only very recently stopped drinking?

What are your reasons for not drinking?

What are your reasons for wanting to call yourself straightedge?


Thoughts on re-claiming? I know a lot of people will say that its a life-long choice, and I know this, but I claimed on the wrong intentions but strive to do it for the right ones now. Please keep the flames down, I already got a lot of it from my friends.

My thoughts on re-claiming are the same as my thoughts on claiming really. Its basically a bunch of questions to clarify exactly why i would choose to claim or re-claim.

I would suggest examining your thoughts on drinking, why you think its wrong? Why you want to claim? How it fits with the person you are based on your world views and opinions. I would definitely look hard at the reasons you chose to drink. Also really question yourself on why you want to claim straight edge but don't want to be drug free. Feel free to express your thoughts as people will gladly give you their insight i am sure. As for life long choices, i think that just gets taken out of context, i personally believe the sentiment behind that is to make a well informed and solidly thought through life choice. But life is not always straight forward and sometimes we make mistakes or grow to be different people. I constantly look at my life choices in order to remain happy in the person i am and the things i choose, Straightedge has stayed with me thus far and the longer it does the more likely it will continue to do so but theres no guarantees. Thats why i think you are better off asking yourself questions like why you think drinking is wrong and why you want to be straightedge.

[trevvegan]

This reads like you have come out both a 1 year and 3 year relationship, i'm assuming they werent side by side but i don't like to assume too much.

So splitting up drove you to drink? Was there something specific that made you choose to drink?

You say you were edge for the sake of the person you were with, i'm sure you agree thats not a good reason, is that the reason you turned to drink?



Why don't you want to be drug free exactly? This puzzles me the most so i would really appreciate it if you could answer this.



So 2 months ago you were drinking and you drank for 2 months? Am i correct in saying that you have only very recently stopped drinking?

What are your reasons for not drinking?

What are your reasons for wanting to call yourself straightedge?



My thoughts on re-claiming are the same as my thoughts on claiming really. Its basically a bunch of questions to clarify exactly why i would choose to claim or re-claim.

I would suggest examining your thoughts on drinking, why you think its wrong? Why you want to claim? How it fits with the person you are based on your world views and opinions. I would definitely look hard at the reasons you chose to drink. Also really question yourself on why you want to claim straight edge but don't want to be drug free. Feel free to express your thoughts as people will gladly give you their insight i am sure. As for life long choices, i think that just gets taken out of context, i personally believe the sentiment behind that is to make a well informed and solidly thought through life choice. But life is not always straight forward and sometimes we make mistakes or grow to be different people. I constantly look at my life choices in order to remain happy in the person i am and the things i choose, Straightedge has stayed with me thus far and the longer it does the more likely it will continue to do so but theres no guarantees. Thats why i think you are better off asking yourself questions like why you think drinking is wrong and why you want to be straightedge.

Those relationships were side by side. Splitting up isn't wasn't cause me to drink, ultimately it was my inability to please myself, instead I pleased someone else. When I went into the relationship, I was all sorts of out of whack. I choose to please the person I was with instead of myself. I can easily resist temptation as I had for 4 years, but I felt obligated and rejected from my friends as my relationships effected more than myself. I totally agree that claiming for the sake of someone else in in-fact wrong on many levels, which is why I say I claimed for the wrong reason. I was young and impressionable although it was a good thing to choose. I don't want to be labeled as 'drug-free' because I don't think it goes with Hardcore. A drug free individual can be anyone from anything, but the straight edge mentality involves not only the values but coincides with the hardcore positive movement. I stopped drinking about a month and a half ago, I realized what an ass I made of myself. Seeing as I have sXe tattoo's, I feel I turned my back on my beliefs except veganism as it didn't directly effect my relationship, but the drinking did. I choose not to drink or do drugs because I know I am better than cheap thrills and anything that alters my body by poisons. I choose to no do drugs as I want to live a pure life which runs hand and hand with my veganism. I want to label myself sXe as I do see it as a life long abstinent from drugs/alcohol. The "label" goes with my lifestyle of hXc and being drug-free. I don't care for labels, but I do value this one as it states my purity and my non-tolerance for anything that could alter my conscious state, weather it be misguided judgement, inebriation, or just plain stupidity.

[straightXed]

Those relationships were side by side. Splitting up isn't wasn't cause me to drink, ultimately it was my inability to please myself, instead I pleased someone else. When I went into the relationship, I was all sorts of out of whack. I choose to please the person I was with instead of myself. I can easily resist temptation as I had for 4 years, but I felt obligated and rejected from my friends as my relationships effected more than myself.

The dynamics of your relationship are hard for me to understand as is your actual reason for drinking.

You felt obligated to drink? Why?


I totally agree that claiming for the sake of someone else in in-fact wrong on many levels, which is why I say I claimed for the wrong reason. I was young and impressionable although it was a good thing to choose.

I pretty much gathered you also deem the reasoning wrong, i was just really mentioning it as a lead to my question of why you actually drank for 2 months.




I don't want to be labeled as 'drug-free' because I don't think it goes with Hardcore. A drug free individual can be anyone from anything, but the straight edge mentality involves not only the values but coincides with the hardcore positive movement.

Yeah but nothing stops you being a part of hardcore, being positive, how you think is how you think, it isn't determined by what label is used to describe your abstinance. I can't help but feel this is more about attaching yourself to the label of straightedge. I mean surely if you live drug free and are involved in hardcore and all the good stuff that goes with it then you are happy right? I mean to me that pretty much describes being straightedge and if i were you "straightedge" would be the term i use to describe that. But either way you are the same person regardless of what label is used.




I stopped drinking about a month and a half ago, I realized what an ass I made of myself. Seeing as I have sXe tattoo's, I feel I turned my back on my beliefs except veganism as it didn't directly effect my relationship, but the drinking did. I choose not to drink or do drugs because I know I am better than cheap thrills and anything that alters my body by poisons. I choose to no do drugs as I want to live a pure life which runs hand and hand with my veganism. I want to label myself sXe as I do see it as a life long abstinent from drugs/alcohol. The "label" goes with my lifestyle of hXc and being drug-free. I don't care for labels, but I do value this one as it states my purity and my non-tolerance for anything that could alter my conscious state, weather it be misguided judgement, inebriation, or just plain stupidity.

I don't think theres much anyone can say here. I mean are you asking peoples permission for you to be straightedge?

I will say that even though you say you don't care for labels you are showing a lot of focus for a label here. You say thats because it states your purity etc. The truth is, it doesn't, your actions state all those things, a label only gives early indication of what to expect. You could live up to the label with your actions and promote a very positive image or you could do the opposite, its about you not what you call yourself, just look at catholic priests for instance, their label promotes a holy image, the children abused would show that the actions destroy the image painted by the label. I wouldn't worry about bandwaggon jumping if the way you live your life is how you honestly want to live it...if that way happens to be straightedge then there you go. If someone disagrees that you can be refered to as straightedge, then what? how much of an issue is that for you?

[trevvegan]

The dynamics of your relationship are hard for me to understand as is your actual reason for drinking.

You felt obligated to drink? Why?

I pretty much gathered you also deem the reasoning wrong, i was just really mentioning it as a lead to my question of why you actually drank for 2 months.

Yeah but nothing stops you being a part of hardcore, being positive, how you think is how you think, it isn't determined by what label is used to describe your abstinance. I can't help but feel this is more about attaching yourself to the label of straightedge. I mean surely if you live drug free and are involved in hardcore and all the good stuff that goes with it then you are happy right? I mean to me that pretty much describes being straightedge and if i were you "straightedge" would be the term i use to describe that. But either way you are the same person regardless of what label is used.

I don't think theres much anyone can say here. I mean are you asking peoples permission for you to be straightedge?

I will say that even though you say you don't care for labels you are showing a lot of focus for a label here. You say thats because it states your purity etc. The truth is, it doesn't, your actions state all those things, a label only gives early indication of what to expect. You could live up to the label with your actions and promote a very positive image or you could do the opposite, its about you not what you call yourself, just look at catholic priests for instance, their label promotes a holy image, the children abused would show that the actions destroy the image painted by the label. I wouldn't worry about bandwaggon jumping if the way you live your life is how you honestly want to live it...if that way happens to be straightedge then there you go. If someone disagrees that you can be refered to as straightedge, then what? how much of an issue is that for you?

I have a lot of friends who walk boundaries on edge. Like not taking the full effect of the absence of promiscuous sex. I am not asking for permission, but more of opinion in the situation. Most people will say you're not edge till you're 21 or something to that effect. A lot of the kids here see you as a sell out no matter what, and by breaking edge and reclaiming, you bring shame on the cause. But I just wanted to know other opinions on the matter. With the idea of reclaiming, I run the risk, especially here of being jumping for claiming edge after breaking it. I say I didn't like labels, but I care about the straight edge one. I guess I fear more of the thoughts of others than my own happiness and what I choose to label myself. Maybe it's time that I worry about myself.

[straightXed]

I have a lot of friends who walk boundaries on edge. Like not taking the full effect of the absence of promiscuous sex.

Yeah, i personally think a movement preaching we should abstain from sex is ultimately going to do more harm than good. It tends to encourage turning away from it instead of learning and understanding what is ultimately a positive thing. I don't know your freinds but perhaps they agree with me.




I am not asking for permission, but more of opinion in the situation.

Thats fair enough, i gave you my opinion, which is basically for you to see what your opinion is on it all.



Most people will say you're not edge till you're 21 or something to that effect.

Again, i understand the sentiment but the words to describe it are not conveying what i think the sentiment to be. Quite clearly you can be edge before 21, 21 is not a qualifying number. However i understand people not being so quick to accept peoples declarations of a life commitment before they have reached avenues in their lives where they see all their friends drinking, clubbing, going to bars etc. We are all subject to change...with regards to straightedge the changing attitudes towards drinking will diminish with age but younger people have a lot of stuff they still have to go through that will do a lot of shaping. I wouldn't say they can't be edge though, thats just nonsense.


A lot of the kids here see you as a sell out no matter what, and by breaking edge and reclaiming, you bring shame on the cause.

Ok, what do you think about that? Straightedge has a high percentage of kids that sell out, its entirely likely that the kids that think you are a sell out will be drinking beer in a years time. None of that bullshit really matters. What matters is what you think, do you think you are a sellout? 6 months ago if what has happened to you had happened to someone else, how quickly would you brand them a sell out? Are you looking to live your life in accordance with the labels other people attribute to you without asking yourself if you agree with that label? Perhaps you could explain exactly what shame is brought upon straightedge? I mean if someone lives by the law, then fucks up and breaks the law but learns from it and never breaks the law again - does that person bring shame on the law? According to the half baked logic these kids are comming up with that is exactly what they are saying.




But I just wanted to know other opinions on the matter. With the idea of reclaiming, I run the risk, especially here of being jumping for claiming edge after breaking it.

I'm not sure what you mean by being jumping? Being jumped maybe? If so then thats where you weigh things up...whats worth more? A label or your safety...for me its my safety. And like i said, the label doesn't dictate your actions, you do, you can live as any other straightedge kid does and never need to call yourself straightedge. To be honest it sounds more like bullying and gang mentality to stop someone using the term in that fashion which really does bring shame upon the straightedge community. Personally i would want to be as embracing and supportive as i can of people that don't drink and support straightedge and hardcore in a positive way. You just be you and don't risk getting a kicking for something so dumb, its not worth your while.


I say I didn't like labels, but I care about the straight edge one. I guess I fear more of the thoughts of others than my own happiness and what I choose to label myself. Maybe it's time that I worry about myself.

Just be yourself, support hardcore, live clean, be positive. Those are all great things and backed with sincerity it pretty much describes straightedge, don't worry about the label so much, focus more on who you are and what you do.

[xVeganAnarchistx]

great responses! i don't have anything to add now.