My girl friend is a junkie...

[HardCore HardHead]

Well firday night i found out that my girl friend is on crack. When questioned she confessed to have been on it for several months, she had kept it from me because she knew i was sXe. I love her with all my heart, but i don't know what to do... :'( She is a realy cool person, she said that she started to cope with stress, now she is addicted. I have asked her to stop and she said she can't. Right now, she is refusing to meet my eyes as she sits next across from me as i type this.... poor Autumn. Any advice is welcome, please try to be considerate.

[xsecx]

Well firday night i found out that my girl friend is on crack. When questioned she confessed to have been on it for several months, she had kept it from me because she knew i was sXe. I love her with all my heart, but i don't know what to do... :'( She is a realy cool person, she said that she started to cope with stress, now she is addicted. I have asked her to stop and she said she can't. Right now, she is refusing to meet my eyes as she sits next across from me as i type this.... poor Autumn. Any advice is welcome, please try to be considerate.

if she wants to stop, she needs to go into treatment.

[xSouthernEdgex]

Well firday night i found out that my girl friend is on crack. When questioned she confessed to have been on it for several months, she had kept it from me because she knew i was sXe. I love her with all my heart, but i don't know what to do... :'( She is a realy cool person, she said that she started to cope with stress, now she is addicted. I have asked her to stop and she said she can't. Right now, she is refusing to meet my eyes as she sits next across from me as i type this.... poor Autumn. Any advice is welcome, please try to be considerate.

Oh man, i feel terrible for you bruh. I just got dumped like 5 minutes or so ago. Me and my girlfriend got into an argument earlier this week over her and a cigarette, But this isn't about me.
I feel the best option you could take is to take this to another level. Either psycholog. therapy or drug rehab. If it doesnt come to that point try and talk to her about other ways of coping w/ stress.
If the relationship does crash because of this and you really love her, i personally, would still pursue a way of helping her w/ her addiction.

I may be more of a help when i calm down myself. i actually came on here for a bit of stress relief because i'm pretty down right now. I wish you the best of luck brother

[HardCore HardHead]

I have no intentions of leaving her over this. She was with me when i kicked my drug problem. I am just spending as much time as i can with her, and giving lame peptalks. She is dead scared that i will leave because of this, if nothing else works i think that will do it. Her mom and dad are getting a devorce and her older bro just recently died in iraq... I am not sure how to possibly help her stress problems other then holding her as much as humanly possible... she seems ok with that plan.

I am sorry about your brake up bro. That hurts, i know. Life goes on, try to stay posi.

Thanks

[chadfitzy]

thats funny you mention that, i just found out my moms been doin crack, i havent seen her for about a month now. you oughta push a little on her to get off, help her even if she dosnt want it because eventually shell be controled by it, sorry man.

[xsecx]

I have no intentions of leaving her over this. She was with me when i kicked my drug problem. I am just spending as much time as i can with her, and giving lame peptalks. She is dead scared that i will leave because of this, if nothing else works i think that will do it. Her mom and dad are getting a devorce and her older bro just recently died in iraq... I am not sure how to possibly help her stress problems other then holding her as much as humanly possible... she seems ok with that plan.

I am sorry about your brake up bro. That hurts, i know. Life goes on, try to stay posi.

Thanks

if she's honestly addicted to crack, she needs to get into a program.

[xCrucialDudex]

thats funny you mention that, i just found out my moms been doin crack, i havent seen her for about a month now. you oughta push a little on her to get off, help her even if she dosnt want it because eventually shell be controled by it, sorry man.

I remember the moment when I found out that my mom casually smokes cigarettes. I felt like I was betrayed by the closest person. I was still a kid and it actually hurt.

I mean that sucks... if it bothers you at all...

[xCrucialDudex]

I have no intentions of leaving her over this. She was with me when i kicked my drug problem. I am just spending as much time as i can with her, and giving lame peptalks. She is dead scared that i will leave because of this, if nothing else works i think that will do it. Her mom and dad are getting a devorce and her older bro just recently died in iraq... I am not sure how to possibly help her stress problems other then holding her as much as humanly possible... she seems ok with that plan.

How old is she?

I'd stick with the following strategy. Her life is her life right? She can do whatever she wants with her body. Make sure she realizes that you understand that BUT you do not approve of what she's doing for a number of reasons (I guess you have a list so I don't have to list them). Don't become over-caring but demonstrate you're ready to help her out WHENEVER she decides she needs your help. Focus on communicating a message that she needs to make up her mind FAST and actually DO something about it. This way she'll realize there's a time limit to staying indecisive and she'll get a feeling of a need to make a change. This should be real subtle. Don't over do it.

If she needs help in making a decision demonstrate that you can help her make it and go through whatever comes after that together with her. Make decision instead of her if necessary and ONLY if there's an absolute need.

Remember that sometimes a woman needs a strong man who can make a decision for her and actually LEAD her. It doesn't mean you should become a controlling jerk, though.

Just make it clear what she's doing isn't just right. Be considerate and cool. Demonstrate you're willing to help if she needs your help. Stay fun and positive, take her out somewhere and do some crazy (in a good sense) things together so that she doesn't have time for crack.

You get my thinking by now and I guess you can develop the idea even further.

Hope this helps.

[mouseman004]

I remember the moment when I found out that my mom casually smokes cigarettes. I felt like I was betrayed by the closest person. I was still a kid and it actually hurt.

I mean that sucks... if it bothers you at all...

I don't really see the connection between a parent doing crack, and your mom smoking cigarettes. My dad smokes, I don't like it because its not good for him, but it in no way affects my relationship with him or my opinion of him.

[xCrucialDudex]

I don't really see the connection between a parent doing crack, and your mom smoking cigarettes. My dad smokes, I don't like it because its not good for him, but it in no way affects my relationship with him or my opinion of him.

Point it she was hiding that she was smoking cigarettes AND I was a kid, faithfully believing she was not smoking (while her friends did in front of me) so the truth came out like a bad surprise one day.

[XAdrenalineX]

Remember that sometimes a woman needs a strong man who can make a decision for her and actually LEAD her.

Bullshit.

This would just wreck my head. I am not someone's poor little damsel in distress for him to care for.

[xsecx]

How old is she?

I'd stick with the following strategy. Her life is her life right? She can do whatever she wants with her body. Make sure she realizes that you understand that BUT you do not approve of what she's doing for a number of reasons (I guess you have a list so I don't have to list them). Don't become over-caring but demonstrate you're ready to help her out WHENEVER she decides she needs your help. Focus on communicating a message that she needs to make up her mind FAST and actually DO something about it. This way she'll realize there's a time limit to staying indecisive and she'll get a feeling of a need to make a change. This should be real subtle. Don't over do it.

If she needs help in making a decision demonstrate that you can help her make it and go through whatever comes after that together with her. Make decision instead of her if necessary and ONLY if there's an absolute need.

Remember that sometimes a woman needs a strong man who can make a decision for her and actually LEAD her. It doesn't mean you should become a controlling jerk, though.

Just make it clear what she's doing isn't just right. Be considerate and cool. Demonstrate you're willing to help if she needs your help. Stay fun and positive, take her out somewhere and do some crazy (in a good sense) things together so that she doesn't have time for crack.

You get my thinking by now and I guess you can develop the idea even further.

Hope this helps.

have you had a girlfriend? one that let's you essentially control her?

[Just-a-fool]

In most cases i'd say let them do with their life what they want.
But since a relationship is a bit different... just stick with her.
You say she was with you when you stopped drugs,
i'm sure that was a lot of help and i'm sure she could use the
same kind of help.

[xCrucialDudex]

have you had a girlfriend? one that let's you essentially control her?

Are you saying I was suggesting to control his girlfriend? If so that's not what I actually said. Read again. I was talking about leading. Leading and controlling are two different concepts.

[xsecx]

Are you saying I was suggesting to control his girlfriend? If so that's not what I actually said. Read again. I was talking about leading. Leading and controlling are two different concepts.

the way it's coming across is controlling, so yes it does appear that's what your suggesting. In a healthy relationship one partner doesn't really lead the other. You lead soldiers not girlfriends. You also didn't answer the question.